Five Weeks Way-In

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It’s been five weeks since I vowed to make changes in my life to increase my peace, balance, and mental & physical health.  Now that I’m five weeks way into this self-created program, it’s time to see if I’ve made any progress.

The most positive change I can report is that I haven’t had any suicidal thoughts.  Obviously, this is better than any physical hurdle I could’ve mastered.  My general attitude has improved, and I don’t feel as moody and grumpy as I was before.  Oh, I still have my moments, as my hubby can attest to, but I’ve definitely improved.  In fact, one day last week I had a moment where I walked into work and thought, “hey, this day might not totally suck.”  I swear to you it was the first time I’d had that kind of thought at work in, oh, years.  (It quickly evaporated as the day progressed but, hey, it’s a start.)

I’ve taken up yoga and walking/jogging.  I dabbled in yoga before, sporadically over the years, so it wasn’t a totally new thing for me but I am still a novice.  I’ve been more focused on the yoga moves and breathing, more devoted to it, and it’s paying off.  I feel refreshed and calm after a yoga session, and I feel more confident in myself.  Not too long ago, I would read articles or listen to people talk about how exercise gave them more energy and I thought, “bullsh*t.”  I had never experienced a runner’s high, never enjoyed sweating, never felt like my muscles were warmed up after a workout.  Maybe I just needed my mind and body to be united and ready to tackle whatever physical challenge I presented to myself because now, believe it or not, I actually want to exercise.  Yeah, I know, I couldn’t believe it, either.  I still haven’t experienced a runner’s high yet, but I’m not totally turned off by sweating anymore and–again, last week–I actually felt warmed up after a vigorous walk.  And miracle of miracles, I actually woke up early just so I could do yoga.  On several occasions.  Without coffee.  And felt good afterwards.

Changing my eating habits hasn’t been as difficult as I thought it would, although it’s not what I would call easy.  I’m eating only when I’m hungry and not stuffing myself, and I’m eating most meals at a table so I can enjoy each bite and eat slowly.  I’m making healthier choices at the supermarket and picking up more food from farm stands and farmers markets.  I’m trying new fruits and vegetables.  I’m not counting calories, but I’m definitely careful about what I put into my body.  I definitely see results here.  I don’t feel as sluggish as I used to and, best of all, I’m not experiencing the daily gastrointestinal problems that plagued me (which may have as much to do with my anxiety and stress level as my food intake).  Although I’m trying to focus on feeling better, I admit that I’ve been stepping on the scale, and I’ve lost 10 pounds in 5 weeks.  Again, I’m trying not to focus on weight loss as the end-all, be-all goal, but I do want to get to a healthier weight, and losing 10 pounds is definitely a bonus to all of my lifestyle changes.  I’m not seeing much of a change in my body shape yet, and most of my clothes still seem to fit the same, but it’s a start.  The important thing is I’m still maintaining all these changes, and I want to keep going forward.

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